About my grandpa

I'm grieving the passing of my grandfather, Gale Fox, who passed away last week. I wrote this little essay about him to help collect my thoughts. I really love my grandpa:

Gale Fox

I remember him always strong and rugged, grinning, a cap tilted slightly on his head.
His gold ring with the red stone, his sturdy gold watch.
Telling a story.
A meticulous story-teller, he remembered everything in vivid detail and his style was narrative and he would laugh to start and end every new chapter. A lovely, soothing high-pitched laugh, just a couple of chuckles, before his story veered on to another path.
The old rooster that chased them around in the farmyard.
His classmates from gradeschool, kicking the chair legs out from underneath the other.
The guys on the railroad, peeing out the window. Prank stories seemed to be his favorite.
Just having fun.
He so loved his wife and it hurt him so much to watch her suffer in any way.
He loved to be busy. To figure out ways to save or make money.
Often in his later years he would drive from one store to the next looking for the best deal on essentials like toothpaste and treats like those Pot of Gold candies. And he'd drive back if he got over-charged and see that he got his money back.
He never did win the Publishers Clearing House but he made a heck of a run at it.
He loved to fish. But he rarely if ever got to go alone. Always there was a grandchild's hook to worm or a tangled line and a lost lure and the grandkids would catch more than he would because he was tending to our rods and bait. But he never cared.
His lap was never empty. He loved to hold us. But he was always on the move. Looking for something to hammer or saw or fix. That man loved to stay busy and he had a gift with building things, that massive tiered deck on Beaver Lake that would have taken an entire crew six months. Remember the vegetables he grew in his garden in Norfolk?
This is a man who accepted us and supported us no matter what, our shortcomings and disappointments and it broke his heart to see us, his children and grandchildren and his great-grandchildren, sad or hurting. He held his daughter as she lay dying of cancer and he showed us all that it is just fine to ask our God, "why," and to move forward with faith when we still don't understand.
We will forever remember our patriarch as this small guy, tougher than nails, with a heart bigger than anyone other than us could imagine. We will remember his stories and his pride and that work ethic, and more than anything how much he was loved and that he showed us how to be a man and a leader of a family.
He has showed us how to live life to the fullest, to be faithful to family and God in our own way and to not compromise our beliefs and how to die like we live, with strength and conviction.
We will forever be proud to be the legacy of Gale Eugene Fox and we pray that we can live our lives with as much honor.

RIP Heath Ledger

OK enough is enough with celebrities flushing their lives down the toilet!

I don't know what it is about celebrity culture today, but it appears as if there are numerous actors, singers, "socialites" and such who are out of control and on disturbing mental-health roller coasters that the rest of us just can't help but be afraid of. Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears -- what's the matter?!

Heath Ledger by all accounts was a nice guy: really talented, he had a beautiful presence and was just brilliant to watch. The camera loved him. What could have happened to cause his descent into depression or drugs or whatever killed him - at age 28? Were there warning signs like others are exhibiting - Britney, Amy - and did anyone try to help him?

Can I as a "fan" or noncelebrity feel somehow responsible for feeding into the pop culture/celebrity feeding frenzy that is apparently fueling or masking these celebrities' coping abilities or their mental illness?

Does stardom create some world of make believe that triggers troubled minds? Or do artists have a certain thrill-seeking or experimenting or endorphin-rushing gene or brain center that leads them to drug use and dangerous behavior? Or are they simply spoiled, narcistic and selfish?

What role does the media play in all of this? It's surreal to watch shows (which I don't) like Entertainment Tonight, Extra, Inside Edition and such feature reports from the "Red Carpet" and paparazzi-fueled gossip about people like Anna Nicole Smith and then the next show delight in reporting "shocking headlines" of their untimely deaths?

Something about Heath's death is really bothering me and I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe because he was exceptional and a future Oscar-winner. Possibly because he never seemed to have done anything to hurt anybody. Or because his private life was so recently invisible and their were no hints that something bad was coming. His life wasn't a train wreck.

One can't help but feel sorry for these troubled souls -- and so helpless. Please, let's someone step in and help these other trainwrecks before it's too late. Or let's quit watching, because it hurts to see and feel others' pain.

Stop looking to fill your lives with susbtances and to numb your pain. Be strong and be the people deserving our admiration. Do it now!